Rindu

rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu rindu kamu.......................................................

Summary of these 2 weeks:

1) My 2-week-long fever finally recovered, Alhamdulillah.
2) Paid my flight ticket already. Thanks Abg Khairil for settling it for me. Anyway, I'm gonna have 5 days stop-by at Turkey before going back to Malaysia to attend The International Conference of Islamic Medical Association. Represent Russia with another 9 fellows. (Alhamdulillah again. What a great chance).
3) Being nominated for Smiley of the Year in Spartivians' Choice Award held by the 2nd year students (do I have SMILING face here?). But on top of it, I've got the title of the day, Girl of the Year (I know why. I'm a notes provider to them. Some kind like persuading me to get more notes for next year, huh. Hihi. Anyway, thanks a lot guys. U all are really good, plus, are really studious too. That's why u all always after my notes (even the Vietnamese and the Indians! Sungguh can't understand this). Don't worry. I'll keep all my 3rd year notes (and also my current 4th year note) for u guys (even now I don't know who's using them!! *wrinkling*
4) In touched with Dr. Yasin after a long silence from him (either me). Luckily, managed to arrange a simple program with him Insya Allah. Will let u all know about it later. (Mesti ada sorang tu dah tertanya-tanya apakah itu. Motif apa saya berahsia nih.)
5) Last week my mak sent me text, telling she's gonna send me a parcel. Wowwy. Happy mode was on since then.
6) My cousin has departed to Japan on March 21st. Wishing him ALL THE BEST in his study there. The other one will be leaving to Australia somewhere in July.
7) Forgot to congratulate my cousin for his excellence SPM result. 12As (10A1s 2A2s). Mabruk alaik, Ridhwan (nama comot: Wawan). Another good product of KISAS. Hehe.
8) Last Thursday, I spent HOURS alone in front of St. Basil and Kremlin. Having a nice time snapping here and there. Out of nowhere, there were 4 foreigners that I chatted with guessing that I'm from Korea or UAE. Whoaa... (Do I have a look of a Korean? Anyong haseyo! Where where where? Do I have the style of an Arabian? Sytah sytah... My scarf is not the belit-belit 1. How come...)
9) Who still remember about the Indian guy (from India) that I once blogged about him a few months back? I met him yesterday. And he seemed didn't recognize me anymore (he was with a russian girl around at that very second).
10) I blog hopped to other bloggers'. Accidentally, I hopped into this 1 girl's. Her name is Sharifah Zuraiha aka Kak Syifa. Wanie my roomie claimed that Kak Syifa was her ex-Physics teacher during upper forms in SAMBEST! What a small world. And Wanie told me, Kak Syifa's birthday is the same as mine. She's the 4th person that I found out having the very same DOB! Haven't contacted her yet. But after I've settled everything, I'll certainly get in touch with her, Insya Allah.
11) I've promised myself to continue my writing back. Since I left it untouched 4 months ago, now, I've no idea where and how to begin it with. HELP me!

OKAY. Enough for today. Need to put an urge to my brain to work more on my tasks. I'm gonna end this cycle (Surgery and Public & Social Medicine) by this week. Clinical year is really killing my brain cells, shutting down my neuromuscular system and at this moment, it's switching off my eyes....Luckily, no exam's waiting by this week. But next cycle, NEUROLOGY is laughing evilly waiting to kick me off. Bak kata Amani, kenalah 'semaikan rasa cinta pada Neurology' sungguhpun hati kata TAK.

Thought of the day : Surah An-Naba' 78 : 1-40

Telah banyak kali Allah menyuruh kita fikirkan tentang kebesarannya supaya kita sedar diri. Dan telah Allah ceritakan pada kita akan ganjaran yg menanti di akhir nanti buat hamba-hamba yg bersyukur. Perihal gambaran kehidupan di syurga yg sangat nikmat. Diikuti dengan gambaran seksaan pedih di neraka bagi mereka yg membelakangi Allah. Di akhir nanti, bagi hamba yg tergolong sebagai mereka yg mengingkari Allah, mereka akan menyesal dan merintih mengharap mengapa tidak mereka dijadikan saja sebagai tanah ketika hayat mereka di dunia dahulu. Kalau di dunia ini kita diberitakan dgn khabar baik, gembira tak terkata sampai ada yg gila kerana gembira (rujuk frasa 'happy gile' yg selalu diguna pakai kini). Tetapi pernahkah kita merasa ZUPP-nya apabila membaca atau mendengar tentang janji Allah untuk hamba yg berada di jalan yg dikehendakinya? Dan apabila kita diberitakan dgn berita yg kurang menyenangkan di dunia ini (spt diberitakan bahawa pelajar-pelajar di Russia dan Ukraine perlu menduduki exam khas tatkala tamat belajar nanti yg mana exam khas ini adalah sekali ganda jauh lebih susah drpd biasa (ini adalah sekadar analogi), pasti ramai yg sangat tidak mahu gagal kerana banyak keburukan yg menanti seperti terpaksa mengulang final year sekali lagi (ulangan: ini hanyalah contoh yg direka-reka. Don't worry fellow friends in Russia or Ukraine -Nad baca ni sah-sah senyum- ). Kenapa akibat buruk yg bakal mendatang tu membuatkan kita tak senang duduk sejak sekarang? Kenapa hal ini betul-betul merimaskan hati kita? Dan mengapa pula akibat buruk yg menjadi balasan bg mereka yg mengingkari Allah seperti yg terkandung dlm Al-Quran tidak sedikit pun menggentarkan hati kita? Tepuk dada, tanyalah iman... Wallahu a'lam...

p/s: To Abg Wan, gambar ni bukan utk di copy/save as/di grab/yg seangkatan dengannya (amaran yg kena diingatkan berkali-kali)..huhu..Kak Long, rindu kamu sangat-sangat!

(Entry budak yg tengah malas. Banyak presentations yg kena siapkan. Patient's case history for Surgery. Preparation for Neurology cycle [next week]. Date line for a few PPIM's project. Report yg perlu submit this Tuesday. Makanya, budak ni tengah bz. Jadi dia hanya ingat Kak Long dia tempat dia share semua cerita. Kalaulah Kak Long ada kat sini...)


I pen off... Spakoina nochiyu Rossiya...

Sendiri Di Pinggir Sana

Assalamualaikum wbt

Baru-baru ini saya ada berbincang ringkas dengan seorang kawan baru, tajuknya lambang cinta. Dunia berpendapat angsa putih adalah lambang cinta sejati yang cukup romantis. Tetapi mengapa angsa putih? Teringat ketika saya mengikuti lawatan ke sebuah perkampungan kristal (lebih popular sebagai kilang kristal) di pertengahan Disember lalu yang terletak kira-kira 250 km dari kota Moscow. Di sana, buat pertama kalinya saya mengetahui bahawa bangsa Rusia merupakan bangsa pertama yang menggunakan angsa putih sebagai lambang cinta sejati. Alasannya kerana angsa putih cukup setia pada pasangannya.

Lalu saya teringat pula akan sebuah video yang pernah saya tonton tidak lama dahulu yang bertajuk Penguin yang Sabar. Memang penguin cukup sabar sifatnya. Dan cukup setia dan boleh juga dianugerahkan sebagai pencinta yang sejati. Jika hendak dihuraikan, terlalu kompleks ceritanya.

Namun, mengapa pula bagi orang Melayu (mungkin bukan semua bersetuju tetapi inilah yang tersurat di dalam peribahasa kita) yang menyifatkan pasangan yang sedang bercinta (atau juga yang telah berumah tangga) sebagai merpati dua sejoli? Adakah merpati juga sesetia angsa putih? Adakah merpati juga sesabar penguin terhadap pasangannya? Saya sendiri tidak tahu mengapa merpati yang menjadi ikonnya. Atau mungkinkah kerana sifat romantis sang merpati yang selalu berteman berdua-duaan di mana-mana saja mereka berada? Juga tidak dapat saya jawab akan persoalan ini.

Dalam perjalanan pulang daripada Metro Yugo Zapadnaya tengahari tadi, saya berkesempatan merakamkan beberapa keping gambar ini.

The one I like most! When I walked by the park, I noticed that these two pigeons were like kissing or maybe sharing something using their beaks. Simple but lovely, isn't it? They have each other, for each other. Maybe they are brothers (would male pigeons act like this). And maybe they are friends (so funny). But the point is, I have no friend walking with me, or spending time with me. I'm so lonely. Looking at this couple of pigeons, that's what make me feel more lonely... Here is the story...

On the way back to hostel, with all my heart flew away thinking of my life, I was entertained by these two pigeons walking next to me at the park. How I am so lonely at this very second... This afternoon (I have no class today, preparation day for presentation Social Medicine), I wanted to go out but no one could go with me. I have another 3 girl friends in my group but I'm not that close with them. 2 of them (Chinese) are always together (and of course with their boyfriends) and the other 1 is always with her boyfriend (too). And me? Always a lone ranger.

I used to calm down myself not to worry about this. Not to keep messing my mind with this stuff. But it just happened today that I feel so lonely. I used to have a classmate (a guy) that I was very closed with but after I moved out to apartment, and so did he, we were like 2 strangers. And now I moved in back to hostel, then we become even more strangers to each other. Even when we meet in class, we don't really talk that much. We were very-very close before. Very-very much. Even I would consider his feeling before doing anything, not to let he felt that I put him aside. He's my best friend ever. The other 1 that I'm quite close with is always with the 2 Chinese and we end up only a bit close in class, but not in our daily life. Why it happened so? Why? We used to be best friends. I still remember his message: "A fish said to water, u won't ever see my tears because I am in water. The water replied, but I can feel your tears because u are in my heart". It was really touching to have him by my side whenever we need for each other.We were very closed. It really was before. Yeah. IN THE PAST.

That's how I feel right now. I don't mind sharing this with u all (readers) because I'm very sure none of my groupmates do blogging or even blog hopping (they enjoy online games or friendster thingy more than anything else). And if it happened that any of them read this entry, I hope that it will heal up the strangeness that is now blooming in the group. Anyway, the last photo taken just outside of the hostel compound. When other people are having someone with them, when others are talking to a friend, and when others are at least walking in silence with a friend, I am here all by myself, alone and lonely. Ah! Finally I let them all out to the air. No more knotty things mess up in my mind, my heart. I freed them out today. And I hope, they won't come back to rest in my mind, my heart even for a purpose of visiting. I want my normal life back!!!

* Saya seorang yang sangat perahsia. Saya akan sebolehnya memendam apa yang saya rasa sehingga saya dapat selesaikan perkara tersebut. Tapi hal ini telah bertahun berserabut di dalam hati saya. Kadang-kadang sangat-sangat tertekan akan hal ini. Jadi hari ini, berpegang atas kata-kata emak, KITA TAK KURANG WALAU KITA SEORANG, saya lepaskan semua bebanan tadi dengan satu doa, semoga semuanya akan kembali seperti biasa dan saya dapat menerima keadaan ini dengan berlapang dada. Pasti ada hikmahnya kenapa Allah menyusun perjalanan hidup saya di bumi Moscow ini sedemikian rupa. Walau apapun, saya sayang group saya. Group 6 2003-2009 English Medium, Moscow Medical Academy. Sungguh tak disangka, apa yang terjadi kini sama seperti apa yang saya coretkan di dalam cerpen 160 muka yang saya tulis dulu iaitu Angin Monsun Moscow. Allah itu maha mengetahui.

-La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus3aha, Laha ma kasabat wa3alaiha maktasabat- -When Allah puts us to it, He will put us through it, insya Allah- -Allah holds our heart close to Him, always- -No Hopeless Mode!!!-

Enjet-Enjet Semut!!!

Salam to all. Just wanna share this video to ponder together. Should we (Malays) be proud of this video? Of the facts entitled in this video? Maybe the answer is yes for certain parts but there are a few no-i-don't-agree-with-it parts here. I don't like the part telling how sexy the Malay minahs (because there are still a lot who are very good in covering aurah). I don't agree with the statement that we are slow and steady but finally we are still the winners (basically Malays are always like that but by singing in that way, I think that the singer or the lyric writer proud to be in this kind of outlook. My grandma doesn't and neither do I). I don't agree with the scene of hanging out at stalls, lepaking there, playing guitar and singing. So not agree.

Hmm... At this moment, my closest Russian friend (description in Russian: maya lubimaya ruskaya padruga), Olga Vasilevskaya aka Olya is in Malaysia. She is there to take part in the International Malay Public Speaking, Deputy Prime Minister Cup regarding Malaysian's 50th Anniversary. She has been to Malaysia for 2 times before this. And last summer, we spent time together in Tioman Island. When we were there, we did discussing about Malays and their bad behaviors (I'm totally open to share things with her because she knows a lot about Malays. She studies Malays and theirs civilizations in Institute Of Asian Languages, Moscow State University). Sincerely she told me that she likes Malays as they (we) behave like the one that is lined by Islam blended with our adat and susila, theoretically, but after knowing the true colors of the youngsters, she believes that one day, Malays would have no value anymore if the youngsters themselves don't proud to be and to preserve the values of becoming or be born as Malay Muslims.

A deep sigh here. I youtubed again to find some videos showing about 'Malays show good performances in studies and working field' but I ended up found lots of videos showing the dirtiness of the nowadays young people.

Hang Tuah once said: Takkan Melayu hilang di dunia (Malay won't ever be disappeared from the world). Will this quote remain precious forever? Ask our mind, ask our iman...

I hand up. I'll let u do the comment part whether u agree or disagree with me.

Wallahu a'lam

D for Demam

Salam wbt

Biiznillah, badan saya memanas tiba-tiba sejak tengah malam tadi. Demam. Sudah terlalu lama badan tidak sesakit selenguh hari ini. Juga tidak ke kelas Surgery dan PYCCKUU RZUK (sebutan : Russky Yizik = Russian Language).

Semalam saya ke hospital menemankan seorang junior yang sakit. Atas pemerhatian umum dan pemeriksaan ala kadar yang sempat saya buat sebelum ke hospital, saya mengesyaki junior tersebut mempunyai neurological problem.

Dan sungguh, apabila tiba di hospital, dia telah diusulkan bertemu neuropathologist untuk terus mendapatkan rawatan lanjut. Alhamdulillah, sakitnya adalah 'peripheral', bukannya dari kerosakan di otak ataupun saraf tunjang (spinal cord). Oleh itu, dia boleh dirawat sepenuhnya. Namun, rawatan penuh akan mengambil masa yang agak lama.

Bersabarlah Saufi. Sakit itu adalah KAFARAH dari Allah untuk kita menyucikan dosa-dosa kecil yang tidak kita sedari.

Untuk diri saya sendiri, sungguhpun hanya demam dan batuk-batuk biasa, tetapi ini juga adalah pengajaran buat diri saya sendiri agar lebih menjaga kesihatan pada masa mendatang.

D untuk Demam. Demam itu dugaan. Dugaan itu tanda Allah sayang.

p/s: Ketika bersendirian di bilik tengahari tadi, saya terbayangkan ruz billaban, juadah buat orang sakit, seperti mana yang disajikan oleh Maria buat Fahri.

Ruz Billaban

Suatu waktu dulu
Aku dilamarmu
Tanda setuju
Kata hati dan aturan tuhanmu
Tertulis di Luh Mahfuz
Akulah bakal isterimu

Telah aku lalui jua
Saat kau datangi hidupku dengan lafaz syahadah
Bekal katamu buat harungi dunia
Juga pasak kehidupan kita berdua
Lalu dengan itu aku terima
Kau datang dengan penuh adanya
Kerana kau suamiku
Habibi jiwa pundak aku letak segala

Bait kita kau hamornikan
Basah lidah alunan Al-Quran
Harum indah bagaikan di taman khayalan

Cinta kita kau asyikkan
Kenalkan aku lebih dengan tuhan
Aku senang, kerana itulah idaman
Untuk hidup dan mati di atas landasan

Senyummu melerai simpul di hati
Susahmu mendurja sengsara nafsi
Sedihmu membasahi pipi ini
Marahmu mengundang pilu segenap nadi

Lalu aku persiapkan diri
Dengan hiasan muslimah solehah
Agar kau tenang melepas lelah
Kerana aku mendokong syariah
Pendamping tatkala kau senang dan payah

Urusanku kau permudah
Jemuranku kau persudah
Masakanku kau jamah
Demamku kau demah
Sakitku tiada lemah
Kerana pasti akan tersedia
Nasi susu tanda sayangmu
Ruz billaban di sisiku

Tidurmu kudampingkan
Sunyimu kuhiburkan
Jatuhmu kubangunkan
Sedihmu kulagukan
Sakitmu kubelaikan
Dan pasti jua kutanakkan
Ruz billaban
Dingin bertaburan kismis manisan
Buat insan pilihan
Yang sentiasa aku rindukan
Dalam doa dan tangisan

Suamiku Ya Harisan
Ya Habib Albey
Bidadara dunia teman dari Ilahi

-Ditujukan khas buat Faaiqah di Medical Faculty of Cairo University, sahabat yang paling saya sayang, selamanya-

*Ruz Billaban bermaksud nasi susu, hidangan Arab Mesir yang disajikan sebagai manisan yang boleh menyejukkan badan. Beras yang dimasak dengan susu ini membuatkan nasinya pekat tapi bukan bubur. Gula dan kismis ditambah sebagai pelazat lidah. Saya mula mengetahui akan ruz billaban bilamana membaca novel Ayat-ayat Cinta karya Habiburrahman Al-Sherazi. Ketika Fahri sakit, Maria menyediakan ruz billaban untuknya. Hati selalu tertanya-tanya bagaimana rasanya ruz billaban. Alhamdulillah. Kunjungan ke Egypt benar-benar terjadi seperti yang saya impikan. Perjalanan menjejak Ayat-ayat Cinta. Rezeki juga, sempat pula saya bertamu ke rumah cucu keturunan Rasulullah saw, Sheikh Muhammad bin Ibrahim bin Abdul Ba'ith, dan dimakbulkan Allah, sempena Hari Asyura, isteri Syeikh menyaji ruz billaban buat tetamu. Sungguh! Hati telah jatuh cinta pada Ruz Billaban. Dalam perjalanan pulang dari Alexanderia ke Cairo, saya berseloroh dengan sahabat baik saya, Faaiqah, yang saya akan menulis sebuah sajak yang bertajuk Ruz Billaban.

Habibi = Kekasihku
Bait = Rumah
Harisan = Yang Bijak
Habib Albey = Kekasih hatiku ('ami/sebutan pasar)

Care Palestine Campaign

Salam wbt

Last night, PPIM-MMA had organized a campaign called Care Palestine with one motto : Dare To Care. To make it short, it was held to raise up our sensitivity towards issues in Palestine specifically, and about judgemental issues towards Muslims generally.

The participants

Almost 70 students had attended this programme held in the study room of Spartivnaya Hostel. At 1st I expected less would come due to women's day eve was at the same time, so people might enjoy going out rather than spending time listening about Palestine. But praise to Allah, they (we) still have the sensitivity about this issue and Alhamdulillah, we received good responds about it from them after the presentation and the talk. This shows that, actually, there are still a lot of us who care but sometime we forgot of our task of being apart of the Muslims. Donation was raised up to __ Rubles (keeps increasing till now because it is on until the date line which is not decided yet). The motto for the donation part is: 1 Euro 1 Head. "Donaters are much better than the receivers"

The brothers

After the talk, we had our late dinner in pot-luck style, having Nasi Goreng in different tastes and styles as our menu. All rooms came with their own nasi goreng but we shared each other's to feel the ukhuwah of sharing. "Sharing is Caring"

The sisters

Last but not least, we handed out Nawaitu (a weekly hand-out by PPIM-MMA) doing its part of noticing people the don't-buy-them products of Israel and America.

As a summary, there are 3 ways we Muslims can gather our strength to help our brothers and sisters in Palestine:
1) Help them with money for the children, food, teachers, schools and hospitals.
2) Help them by letting people all over the world know about their condition. Let the world know who is the real terrorist in there.
3)Remember them in our pray (dua) as it's our least we can do.

We dare because we care!

Just an anology, 500 millions Euro from 1 muslim millionaire won't heart-shake the kuffar but 500 millions Euro from 500 millions muslims will heart-break them all.

The organizer (PPIM-MMA)

We Dare because We Care!

Kita semua bersama kerana kita PEDULI akan mereka di sana!

Memories...

Salam

Just a note..A simple note from my heart.. My heart just now wishpered that how much she misses all the memories back in 2003-2006..That's all that she wishpered. Slowly but meaningful, short but thoughtful..

(I read through an old email from Kak Maslina Mohamed - my senior and teammate in debate during my lower form and currently she's in Law School of IIUM, completing her final year - that telling me from who she got my email and wishing me something that might not happen anymore)

Why do we listen to others but not our own heart?

At night, I cry..(really)

Meditasi

Lakaran si kelingking
Boleh kulukis
Coretan si akal
Boleh kutulis
Bisikan si hati
Boleh kuterjemah
Mujahadah jiwa
Boleh kujuang
Tapi
Meditasi si ruh
Takku terlambangkan
Sungguh aku insan dina
Miskin kuasa jiwa
Kerana suara ruhku itu
Cukup dhaif dan fakir
Dalam mengimpikan
Tegaknya tiang kisra
Istana untukku di Jannah-Nya