When You Are Sick...

Assalamualaikum wbt

Life is not easy as we wanted it to be. We always have plans for our life but Allah always has a better plans for us too. We always dream to run a great life. With no pin-ball in our health. Hope to be in the pink of health. But if Allah has written you to have such life, I think we should just accept what we have.

Being sick is not the matter. What really matters is how do we live such life. I've been sick since I was thirteen. Living no excuse being apart from medicine. Well, anemia sometimes pushing me aside and makes me think that I am a bit lack compared to the rest. It causes me had withdrawn from any sports and outdoors. Later on, it took away my joy while treasuring my high school. I parted behind just because I could not go to the front line. So I chose another way to find the fun. I proposed the debate and I made it through. That's how I live my life up till now.

Since I came to Moscow, I never felt seriously ill. But last Sunday I found the reason to just lie down after falling from chair straight away on the floor. I bumped my chin onto the bed's edge. And accidentally injured my lower lip by clenching it with my teeth. It bled and I knew that my pressure wasn't that perfect.

I reached my blood pressure kit. Shocking my heart, it was only 90/70 mmHg. As this was unusual for me, I came to a diagnosis that my pressure was low due to decreased blood volume that worsened my anemia too. At night, I measured it again. No change, it was still 90/70 mmHg.

I was so weak to go to class the next day. I started my medication with Sangobion back that has been my best accompany since 1998. I spent the whole day in room reading and resting. Every 2 hours I measured the pressure. It's all the same that made me grew even worrier. I laid on bed and my fingers had tremor. I sat on the chair and my eyes couldn't even catch any words from the Obstetrics note. I finally ran to Wani, asked her to give a touch to my head. Her massage was good enough to make me feel lighter and better.

And today I have Obstetrics. I slept officially at 4 and woke up at 6. Went to class at 7.45 am in a hurry. And I was alone but this time I brought along my mobile. If anything happened, I could give my roommates a call, I guess. I reached class with heavy and spinning head. My limbs were cold and sweating a bit. The whole time I was like counting the clock to touch number 3. So that, I could ready myself to go home happily.

On my way back, I was left behind by the rest. I was a bit slow when changing the scrub attire. It's all my fault but just couldn't help myself. It's 22'C today. Hot enough to make me dizzy. I stopped in the middle because I felt like falling. And was holding an apple tree to support my legs to stand still. I felt like crying at that very second. Seriously I felt so. No one with me. No one waited for me. I continued my walking and before reaching the metro, my tears really ran down the cheeks.

As I entered the station, they were all waiting for me inside there. Which actually not really waiting for me because the real reason was the train had just left. In the train, I stood apart from them and kept quiet was the best persuasion. And in my heart I wished that sick people won't be discriminated and left behind. Just because they can't run faster to reach the healthy in the front.

Allah knows best. To put things in order. To make us ponder. There is always hikmah behind the burdens. There is always nikmah behind the patiences.

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Hari buat dia:

4) Buat dunia, kau adalah seseorang. Buat seseorang, kau adalah dunia.